ALAN CARLTON
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Dear Alan 1

22/5/2016

1 Comment

 
​Dear Alan, 
 
I have just placed an on-line ad; watched my in-box overflow; glanced at multiple identical applications; interviewed six applicants; found my procedure manual; filled out mega forms and employed a new dental assistant. After two weeks she left in a hurry, mumbling something about weird control freaks; you should be locked up and on her way out accidently knocked over the delicious monster scattering soil everywhere. How do I avoid the same thing happening again?
 
Regards,
 
“Here we go again.”
 
Answer: Move the delicious monster away from the door.
 
 
Dear Alan,
 
I have a member of staff who cannot sit still. While eating my lunch she will start sweeping up all of my crumbs.  The slightest pause in the day and she is away arranging magazines into neat piles. She will then move onto the kitchen. She cleans and arranges the cups into a neat little row with their handles all at the same 45 degrees. I have done my best to foil her. I will scatter the magazines. I will follow her and sneakily move a cup askance. Point it the opposite direction. When she notices this she blissfully straightens the cups again and then rapidly moves on. I am at my wits end. I dream of her disappearing into a cloud of steam from the autoclave leaving behind only her immaculately clean shoes and a used chux. What can I do?  I don’t think I can fire her.
 
 
Regards,
 
“Frazzled”
 
Answer: You have Irritating Nurse Syndrome. A dentist working full time with the one assistant will spend more time with her than their partner. Prevention is better than cure. Don’t employ someone who will irritate you. Next time you interview job applicants go for the one you feel comfortable with. The one you would like to prefer to sit and watch TV with. Never be influenced by amount of experience, résumés, the quality of the application, or their interview. Experience often has to be unlearned. Everybody has a good resume—which they didn’t write. Good answers in the interview often means they have applied for lots of jobs.
 
Go for personality or gut instinct everytime. This assessment starts when they walk in the door and will take less time than it takes to set 3 mm of A3 composite resin. 
As you say it is difficult to fire her. If you can’t fire her then you can either begin to enjoy her eccentricities—see her as strange and interesting like an animal in a David Attenborough documentary—or hope she finds your crumbs so annoying she resigns.
 
Dear Alan,
 
A mouse ran across the surgery floor and my assistant screamed making the patient anxious? How do I stop my assistant from screaming whenever she sees a mouse?
 
Regards
 
“Animal lover”
 
Answer: Buy a mouse trap. Next time she screams load the trap and place her fingers in it. A few bruised fingers and she will learn her lesson.
 
Dear Alan,
 
A new dentist has just opened up across the road. He has done a letter drop, has big signs and ads on the radio. How do I compete?
 
Regards,
 
“Worried”
 
Choose your own answer:
 
Answer No 1: Good dentistry.
 
Answer No 2: You have or should have lots of advantages. Reliable, dependable, well know, secure. The other dentist has to overcome these disadvantages. His advantage is he is new fresh and up-to-date. He somehow has to prove he is secure, reliable and dependable. You have to prove you are up-to-date. If you are doing modern state of the art dentistry then you really shouldn’t have to tell anybody. It will be obvious. If you aren’t then you deserve to be worried. 
 
Answer No 3: You are asking the wrong question. Don’t compete. Go and help your colleague. Become his friend. Create a symbiotic relationship where you both benefit.  Refer patients to him. Help with emergencies. You will both attract different types of patients. Grow dentistry. Grow dental health.
 
Answer No 4: Do what I do. I ignore everybody else. I’m not going to spend my time worrying about other dentists. They can worry about me if they want.
 
 
1 Comment
Anne
26/5/2016 01:54:10 pm

Anne (IT GIRL) - formerly your patient.

Loved your comment about competition. That has always been my approach (and I still seem to be overwhelmed with business).

Have just started reading your blog. So glad things are improving!

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    This blog is the fictional story of a dentist.  The dentist  works with Jessica and Beryl in a town a lot like Hobart.   The blog tells the story of what these people get up to and the work that they do.  If you feel that you recognize yourself in one of the stories please remember it is fictional and the characters and stories are all fictional. Though  all the stories are based on my time as a dentist in Hobart and  are based on things which actually did happen.  
    ​Writing these stories I often had to think about what is true and what is fictional.

    Categories

    All
    A Day In The Life
    An Old Lady Goes To The Dentist
    A Small Sad Lonely Death Notice
    A Teenage Girl Anxious And Stressed
    Back In Control
    Black Sheep
    Cementing A Single Veneer
    Dear Alan


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  • Home
  • Photos
    • photos >
      • All Saints Church
      • Anglesea Barracks
      • Art Mob
      • Boer War
      • Botanical Gardens
      • Brooke Street Pier
      • Brunswick Hotel
      • Campbell Street
      • Castray Esplanade
      • Cenotaph
      • Constitution Dock
      • St David's Cathedral
    • photos >
      • St David's Park
      • Elizabeth St Mall
      • Elizabeth St Pier
      • Franklin Square
      • Hadley's Hotel
      • Hobart GPO
      • Hobart Congregational Church
      • Hobart Rivulet
      • Hobart Town Hall
      • Holy Trinity Church
      • Heading South Sculpture
      • Hutchins Old School
    • photos >
      • Kunanyi / Mt Wellington
      • MacQuarie Street Primary School
      • Maritime Museum
      • MacQuarie Wharf
      • Parliament House
      • Penitentary
      • Railway Roundabout
      • Regatta
      • RHH
      • Royal Visits 1868 1901 1920 1927 1934
      • Royal visit 1954
      • Salamanca Place
    • photos >
      • Sydney to Hobart Yacht Race
      • Theatre Royal
      • Victoria Dock
      • Saint David's Cathedral
      • Saint David's Park
      • St George Anglican Church
    • Street art: photos >
      • Bidencope Lane
      • Criterion Collins Liverpool Streets
      • Elizabeth Street North Hobart​
      • Kemp Despard Streets
    • Streets: photos >
      • Argyle Street
      • Barrack Street
      • Bathurst Street
      • Brisbane Street
      • Brooker Highway
      • Campbell Street
      • Collins Street
    • Streets: photos >
      • Davey Street
      • Elizabeth Street
      • Goulburn Street
      • Harrington Street
      • Hunter Street
      • Liverpool Street
      • Macquarie Street
      • Murray Street
  • Places
    • Places >
      • All Saint's Church
      • Anglesea Barracks
      • Atheneum Club
      • Baha’i Centre
      • Boer War Memorial
      • Brook Street Pier
      • Brunswick Hotel
      • Boats in the docks
      • Constitution Dock
      • The Drunken Admiral
      • Franklin Square
      • Gas Works
    • Places >
      • Hadley's Hotel
      • Heading South Sculpture
      • Hobart GPO
      • Hobart Synagogue
      • Hobart Town Hall
      • Holy Trinity Church
      • Hunter Street
      • Ingle Hall
      • Old Wool Factory
      • Ordnance Stores
      • Parliament House
      • Penitentiary
      • Princes Park
    • Places >
      • Princes Wharf 1
      • Scots Memorial Church
      • Saint David's Cathedral
      • Saint David's Park
      • Saint George Anglican Church
      • St Michaels Collegiate School
      • Supreme Court
  • History
    • History >
      • Tasmanian Timeline
      • Early Tasmania
      • Mid Nineteenth Century
      • Late Nineteenth Century
      • 20th Century
      • Tasmania’s aborigines
      • Convicts
    • People >
      • John Lee Archer
      • William Bedford
      • Andrew Bent
      • Louis Bernacchi
      • James Blackburn
      • William Bunster
      • William Buckley
      • Thomas Bromfield
      • Luke Castray
      • William Champion
      • David Collins
    • People >
      • John Colvin
      • Charles Darwin
      • Governor Eadley
      • TT Flynn
      • John Franklin
      • Lady Jane Franklin
      • Charles Gaylor
      • Haig: Elizabeth and Andrew
      • Henry Jones
    • People >
      • James Kelly
      • Robert Knopwood
      • Lachlan Macquarie
      • Douglas Mawson
      • Charles McLachlan.
      • George Mure
      • Pearce: Henry and John
      • Robert Pitcairn
      • Poulett-Harris
      • Reid: Arthur and Alison
      • James Clark Ross
      • Ikey Solomon
      • Phillip Smith
      • Abel Tasman
      • Mark Twain
      • AJ White
      • Andrew and Elizabeth Haig
  • Community
    • Hobart Marathon Festival
    • Hadley's Hotel
    • history is not set in bronze
    • Wooden Boat Festival 2019
    • What do you think of Hobart?
    • Sydney to Hobart Yacht Race
    • The Mountain
  • Walking Tours
    • Dave's Walking Tour
    • The Tench Walking Tour
    • Botanical Gardens Circuit
    • ​Alfred’s feeling religious walk
    • Battery Point Sculpture Trail
    • Lachlan gets to the point
    • Street art: Luffy paints the town
  • Blog
    • healing through living
    • This website
    • about another website
    • Acknowledgement
    • Contact
  • The Full Complement
    • Alan Carlton
    • Daniel Frank
    • Paul Barrington
    • Jodi Sutton
    • Jodi Sutton talks about mistakes
    • Jodi Sutton: The phone
    • Ann Heath
    • Maddie Atkins
    • Karen Wong
    • Jo-Anne Cherry
    • Jo-Anne Cherry: Retirement
    • Errol Kilov
    • Garry Owen
    • Katherine Janney
    • Jacques Cawood
    • John Chung
    • Gordon Henry
  • Songs
    • Forty Years Ago
    • Tomorrow
    • Clouds in the River
    • I Woke Up
    • Hold My Hand
    • Cornelian Bay Boathouses
    • Dance on the Deck
    • Eucalyptus Globulus